Andrew Lambdin-Abraham (kd5mdk) wrote,
Andrew Lambdin-Abraham


Finally inspired to post this one by ladyvorkosigan. I'll do two, one for Texas and one for Austin

You Know You're From Texas If...

You measure distance in minutes.
You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. Not really
Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies. Never heard that...
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
</em>You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. </em> Yup...
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal. Can't honestly recall
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car. That Volkswagon...
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. Quite true, though I don't know if this is really a regional thing. Sure made marching band practices hard sometimes.
The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. The Statesman is pretty good about this
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. Not to me, but to others...
You find 90 degrees F. "a little warm".
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
You know whether another Texan is from south, east, west, or north Texas as soon as they open their mouth. Nope, they all sound either "Normal" or "Accented" to me
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more. We used to talk about "Little town so small it didn't have a Dairy Queen", but I never believed in it. Well, ok, Round Top doesn't.
Going to Wal-Mart is favorite past time known as "Goin' Wal-Martin" or "Off to Wally World". Again, not me, but others do it, like saberpirate
Describe the first cool snap (below 50 degrees) as good chili weather.
A carbonated drink isn't a soda, cola, or's a "Coke", regardless of brand or flavor. Oh Yeah!


Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings, but none are visible. Actually, crownless, I'm simply assuming that's possible... but certainly by one of your friends.

You make around $100,000/year and still can't afford a house.

You never bother looking at the Capital Metro schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it. Often enough

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. I'd believe Ottawa, but either way I haven't. Invitations, people!

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. Nope

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

You know that anyone wearing pants in November is just visiting from Ohio.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and, after your child tells you all of that, you still need to ask if the teacher is Mr. Sunshine or Ms. Sunshine.
But everybody knows that any female in a school is named "Miss!".

You are thinking of taking a continuing education evening class but you can't decide among yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Mandarin or a course on building your own web site.

A man walks down Guadalupe (the drag) in full leather regalia complete with a speedo under chaps ...You don't notice. I try not to

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the midwest.

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is a local.

You keep a list of companies to boycott in your wallet.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy in drag. Among other things, I have no Mary Kay Lady

You occasionally see a guy on a unicycle whiz by you in traffic and you think to yourself, "Oh yeah, it's that guy again..."

You start to worry when you don't see the cross-dressing, bearded guy in-a-tutu-and-bikini-top-who-has-made-a-statement-with-his-grocery-cart-and-card board-box-art/shelter on your way to work in the morning.
Hope Leslie is doing OK

You make dinner plans around who's got the best margaritas.

You have a tough time deciding on one of Austin's seven 24-hour eating options (IHOP, Denny's, Katz', Kerbey, Stars, Magnolia Cafe or Taco Cabana.)
Almost always go with Magnolia or IHOP, though.

You complain about their prices but still shop at Central Market for the scene.Me? Never lets scene interfere with low prices, except computers

You know the exact locations of three towing yards.

Your summer shoes are your Birks and your winter shoes are your Birks w/ socks.Never worn any

Your entire wardrobe consists of: a black tank top, a GAP white T-shirt, second-hand Levi's, second-hand cut-off Levi's, overalls, Longhorns sweats, anything polyester from the 70's, a bikini, Teva's, Birkenstocks,and running shoes.Certainly not

Dressing up to go out for a woman means throwing a tank top on over the sports bra you've had on all day b/c it's SO DAMN HOT.
Seen it happen...

You often find yourself wondering why magazine editors insist that swimsuit season starts on Memorial Day when it's really the end of February-or at the latest, the beginning of March.

You consider chips, salsa, Kerby Queso, and a Shiner Bock a well balanced meal.

You find yourself making beaded necklaces to give away as Christmas gifts.

100 degrees for three straight months isn't unreasonable, 110 degrees is and 90 degrees anywhere between May and September seems a little chilly.

When you go out, you make sure you've grabbed your water bottle before checking to see if you've got your wallet and keys. I'm terrible about this

You don't mind parking a mile away as long as it's in the shade.

You'd rather ride your bike than get in a car without air conditioning. At least on your bike, you're guaranteed a breeze regardless of traffic. I hate bikes

You see more Texas flags flying than American flags.

Cubicles are no longer referred to as workspaces but way out funky left brain meditation depositories.
Nope, never been deceived that way...

The food at the company holiday party is all vegan, organic, soyfree, wheat free, dairy free... Most Austinites are either allergic or political when it comes to food. Actually, the University usually offers Pizza, BBQ or Fajitas, though Tiffany's Treats Cookies are also officially acceptable.

I seem to fit into Texas somewhat better than Austin...

Now for the

rusty76, celticdragonfly, merriehaskell, bibliotrope... Everyone knows what you got upto that day.
dejiko and ladyvorkosigan do things behind crownless's back that are illegal in most of the world.
damned_colonial has a secret fixation with butter!
rusty76 knows *just* how long to hold them down for.
damned_colonial and commodorified are writing sweet, creamy buttsex!
eliset and rusty76 used to live together but rusty76 moved out when they saw eliset making out with ravendiana!
kd5mdk has been sent by the government to spy on you to make sure you're paying your taxes!
marnan collects other people's underwear!
stoutfellow has embezzled over $9,000,000 from work, and spent it all on their paramour, jess655321!
merriehaskell knows the truth about ase and dsudis.
damned_colonial has secret fantasies about George W. Bush...
marnan is secretly married to a horse!
toraks and norabombay used to live together but toraks moved out when they saw commodorified making out with fairestcat!
jaketherake has the last piece of Aztec gold.
dejiko and marnan took twenty minutes to decide what to tell the paramedics and the RSPCA.

Enter your username to dish the dirt on your friends!

1) They read the Bujold List, most of them...
2) At the time, they were geographically most likely for this to be possible (SW Asia) and for whose back it might be behind.
3) In casks in the hold of a frigate, quite possible. If you toss in some midshipmen. Toss them into the cask, that is.
4) Them being the camera shutter key, I'm sure.
5) Ok, I edited that one. Changed 2nd person's name and changed "having" to "writing".
6) All Texas people here.
7) Career goals and all...
8) I'm sure it's happened, inadvertantly
9) Sorry, just sheer absurdity.
10) It's possible, whatever that truth is.
11) Involving boiling oil in it I fancy. Either boiling oil or... melted lead.
12) iclysdale :)
13) Edited for names & fun.
14) this would explain the lack of updates...
15) I dunno, just a funny image.

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